last minutes

Whew! These last couple of days have been bu-sy!

People who work in the "health care" industry get no such thing as a three-day weekend. In fact, today will be the ninth day I work in a row! But I shouldn't complain, because then it's 19 days of no work at all -- or at least, not this work.

It will be, though, probably the most exciting two weeks of my life -- I leave for New Zealand tomorrow night -- the 2nd will get sucked into oblivion as the plane will touch down in Auckland on Friday morning -- still with me? I'll turn your attention now to My New Zealand blog set up specifically for the trip. Nothing's up yet, but I'll be posting there the entire time.

I went to Molly Malone's, this great little Irish pub down the street from my house last night. Corey wanted to hang out one last time before I go, so we and Eliz walked over. I love friends, that's all I can say.

And roommates! I'm so insanely lucky to be living with three super-fab women (although one's gone missing, trapsing around Europe...). They are such genuine friends -- we have giggly girl fun (yes, we do talk about boys), we pray together -- it's an amazing thing. The longer I live here, the more convinced I am that humans are meant to live in community. And parties, did I mention the parties? I'm missing this one, but next Sunday they're having a going away party for our friend Dave, who's going to Indonesia for six months. Bon Voyage, Dave, it'll be 2006 'til I see you again. Mwah!

deciding time

I am an entire knot of confusion. I am in an intense moment of doubt for the future and I am questioning my past choices.

I don't know if letting go is the same as not caring, and I am scared about what that means.

Toronto, in photos

Poor neglected blog...Sandra, where have you been?

Toronto, in fact, for a long weekend. I call it the New Zealand prequel...

I was in town visiting Adam...

working out script issues, and getting wired on too much caffeine. A lot of walking and talking -- it's a good city for both. Hitting the town at night, soaking up the environment, watching the crazies get crazy. He's a good host -- if you're ever in town, look him up.

It was also a chance to see my family...

none of whom I've seen in about five years. Staying with my 80-year-old aunt and uncle was a trip -- it was great to get reacquainted with them as an adult.

Here is the view from my relative's 15th-floor guest room (everyone lives in high rises there).



Good times, y'all.

the music baton

This was passed along to me by "Great American" Jennifer

Total Volume of Music Files on my Computer:
I have 2637 Songs, 7.3 Days, 9.70 Gb of music on my mini-mac. Is that a lot?

The Last CD I Bought was:
Shoot, I have to wander over to my pile of CDs to remember...that's what I thought. Ray LaMontagne's Trouble

Song playing right now:
"End Theme" by Zero 7

5 Songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me:
"Isobel" by Bjork
"What I'm Here 4" by Gang Starr
"The Stairs" by INXS
"City of Blinding Light" by U2
"Golden" by Jill Scott
"Chocolate" by Snow Patrol
"Inside" by Toad the Wet Sprocket

I know that was more than five -- when I start I can't stop!

I'm passing this along to:

Greg
Saucy
T
Simon
Faetryn

But I'm doing it later, because I have to get ready for work now.

Hush, hush. Keep in down now...

My sexy/raspy voice has given way to sheer patheticness. I need to kick this sore throat at once.

Tomorrow, a vow of silence, yes this girl's going mum -- if just for a day.

If you call, I won't pick up, if I see you, I'll write you a note. In addition to not talking, I will be further implementing these restorative measures (even if they are just old wives tales):

-lemon and honey in hot water
-gargling with salt water (yeech)
-Ri-cola!

Anything else, you amatuer MDs?

'Til Tuesday...

If you call me right now, you'll hear my scratchy sorority girl voice

I am sick.
I didn't go to work today.
I didn't get my car looked at.
I did a lot of writing, though, and cooking.
I went to dinner with Ernae, too.
I thought a cute boy called me tonight, but it was just a wrong number.
I just posted a bunch of new photos on flickr.
I'm listening to Rufus Wainwright at the moment.
I think I might go watch a movie or go to bed.
I want my roomate to come home.

How faith is like a car

It’s pretty hot today in Los Angeles, I’d guess about 85. Enough to start sweating when sitting in a car with no air conditioning.

I had gone to Trader Joe’s to get groceries. I made my way back to my car, carrying two sacks. I got situated in my Saturn and threw the keys in the ignition. And...nothing. I tried again, still nothing. “Hmm...” I thought.

This had happened once before, last week. I had stopped on the way to Sumit’s to get coffee. The engine wouldn’t start for about two minutes. I think it has something to do with the funny noises it’s been making lately. Levon says it’s the timing belt, and he should know. He had a similar problem a while ago and recognized the sound. “You need to get that replaced, or else your car will just die.”

Point taken, but not really. I swore to get it looked at this past weekend, but I got too busy with other, more interesting things, and I thought “well, it’s not making those noises anymore, anyway...”

So back to the Trader Joe’s parking lot. And my car won’t start. I start to pray “Lord, you know I have groceries that are perishable, PLEASE just start this car so I can get home.” I tried again, and again.

I call my dad (my biological one), even though I’m not sure what he’s going to be able to do a thousand miles away in Oregon. I have to leave a message, he’s probably out, watering the plants.

“Lord God, please start this car.” I call my roommate Elizabeth, the only one who hasn’t gone abroad yet. She says that yes, once she hangs up the phone, she’ll pray for my car.

I peer into one of the grocery bags. I see Christina’s frozen gyozas...defrosting. Then I see my noodle salad. “Okay, God. I’ll eat this noodle salad and if the car doesn’t start by the time I’m done, I’ll call AAA, because I know that even though it might be unpleasant, that’s the way it’s supposed to go.”

I eat the noodle salad. I don’t know if I should eat slower to give God more time...I eat normally. I get to the bottom, and try the car one more time.

And the engine turns over!

“Thank you God!” I pull out of the parking lot and call Eliz. “And I’m going to the mechanic tomorrow!”

As I drive home my dad calls. “You talk to God in a funny way sometimes. But I think that’s how He wants us to pray. It’s like you have God trained very well.”

“DAD! No, God’s just gracious to the point of silliness.” Dad just laughs.

This does all tie back to the car. See, the car might run, but you can’t ignore it’s maintenance. Do so long enough, and it’ll stop cold. So too the spiritual life. If I don’t attend to it every day, it’s not going to go anywhere. God’s not going anywhere, He waits patiently for me to come back, never intruding -- oh maybe a gentle nudge or two, but never a hammer on the head.

I woke up this morning wondering why God has felt so far away lately. Not that bad things are happening -- no, in fact, great things are happening, blessings are pouring out left and right. “Why can’t I seem to see you in all of this, when I know you’re there, Lord? Why do I seem content to simply not do anything wrong, instead of doing things Right? When did that happen? Please help me.”

If you’ve seen my car, you know that I don’t take very good care of it, but it still runs. I just pray that I’ll start treating my relationship with God better than how I treat my car. And with His help, I will. Amen to that.

pop quiz

Alright class, put the books down. It's time for a pop quiz about one of Sandra's near-future travel destinations. This quiz is open to all participants UNLESS said reader is already involved in this trip in some way. In that case, shhh...


1. Name the country in the Southern Hemisphere Sandra will be traveling to in the beginning of June.

a). Peru
b). Australia
c). New Zealand
d). South Africa

2. Why is Sandra going to said country?

a). For further research in Llama farming.
b). To stalk Baz Lurhmann.
c). To try and get her movie made.
d). Relief work with Bono's ONE Campaign.

3. Name the indigenous people of the country to which Sandra is headed.

a). Quechuas
b). Aborigines
c). Maoris
d). Nguni

4. How long is Sandra's flight?

a). 17 hours
b). 21 hours
c). 15 hours
d). 11 hours


Good luck. Time starts....now!

A Dinner Out

Tonight Rachel took me out to celebrate the completion of Crossover's newest draft. We went where we went last week, Cafe 50s, in Santa Monica. This time I invited Levon to come along. The place is pretty cheesy, and the food is okay (why do we keep going?), but the peanut butter cup milkshake was taste-tee.


The general ambience -- yes the waitstaff dresses in 50s threads, even the busboys have greaser hair cuts.


Levon, talking with his hands, per usual.


This little girl was so precious, and she had no idea I was photographing her. She's playing with a balloon, by the way.

The saddest girl to ever hold a martini

I just got done watching VANILLA SKY again. I don't think there's another movie I blog about more. And why not, it's a damned good movie. Each time I watch it, something else sticks out to me.

This time, I was struck by the notion that the entire film, this guy's entire lucid dream-turned-nightmare is based on the consequence of one relationship -- with his "fuck buddy," Julie Gianni. David Ames doesn't think of her as any more than a girl he has sex with, but she's in love with him. His carelessness with her, and in his inability to see her true value as a human being leads ultimately to his demise. He regrets getting into that car with her, but I think he truly regrets getting involved with her and hurting her feelings. One of the best lines in the film is when she says "when you sleep with somebody, your body makes a promise whether you do or not." Not only is that very true, but it's especially true with women, who often cannot seperate the physical from the emotional. It's very hard for women to guard their hearts -- physical attachment equals emotional attachment.

I harken back to the one-and-only, very short "birds and bees" conversation my mother and I had (when I was 18 -- can you believe that?). The only thing she said was this -- "be careful, 'cause men will tell you that they love you when they really don't." Good point, Mom. I have a feeling those were words spoken from experience. Anyway, this is true even in VANILLA SKY, when Julie is starting to go berserk in the car, and David, scared that she's going to do something rash, finally exclaims "I love you," even though it rings totally false. He knows it, she knows it, the audience knows it. And at that moment you really hate him.

Anyway, if you still have not seen it, go rent it. Some say the original, ABRE LOS OJOS is better, but I disagree.