Some Evening Notes

-- I got rear-ended on the way home tonight. It was not so fun, but luckily, the damage was very minor -- so minor that we didn't even exchange information. The jerk in the Porsche that ran into me had more damage, but it was his fault, completely. It felt like it was going to be a lot worse, but I supposes that's the benefit of having a plastic car. I'm happy, also that I'm finally not the one running into others. It's a refreshing change, really.

-- Jesse and I stayed late at work to watch the Presidential debates......And I came away slightly more impressed with John Kerry, and also more positive of the fact that if George Bush has to work off script, he does not do well. I think for the next debate, I'm going to get some friends together for a drinking game -- because they both said the same things over and over again.

-- I'm going salsa dancing tomorrow night for Nina's birthday party. I'm quite excited.

-- The apartment really is quiet and lonely with Luke completely gone. I don't like it.

-- Why is 36D the hardest bra size to find? That's a question for the ages, I feel.

That is all, thank you and goodnight.

What's so good about 'goodbye?'

My roommate, Luke, left today. His L.A. chapter is closing, and he's moving back to Pennsylvania for a while, to dream it all up again. I was sad when I said goodbye, and I didn't think I would be.

I met Luke about two years ago, when we both worked for Heyday Films. He reminded me of my friend Corey, and I felt instantly comfortable with him because of it. After a long phone call last September, we decided we were both fed up with our respective living situations and thought it would be a good idea to become roommates. Our first decision was to decide if we wanted to live closer to the beach, or closer to the hills. We went with beach, opting for cleaner air and against close proximity to, well, everything (a decision that did harbor some regret, but only a very small amount).

Luke, because he wasn't working, had the time to find an affordable and comfortable apartment. We were set to move into our Venice pad in the beginning of November -- however, Luke was on location in the middle of the desert at the time, so I ended up having to move everything in and put the utilities in my name. Which, I honestly didn't mind, since the small control freak in me likes it better that way. Besides, I thought it was a fair trade-off, since he had found the place.

And actually living together -- that was a learning experience. I had never lived with anyone that I had known before moving in with them, so that made it easier and harder all at the same time. I had also not ever lived with a guy before (besides family), and I quickly realized that his tolerance for filth was much greater than mine. At some times, I was certain he was making a mess on purpose, but my other male friends assured me that it was incidental, and that he probably didn't notice the mess, much less have any idea I was annoyed by it. Okay, so I learned to be more communicative, but I also learned how to pick my battles. Sometimes a dirty kitchen counter is not worth getting worked up over. Fly infestations, that's another story, but at least those are fun to kill.

Luke also has Crohn's Disease. He manages it well, mostly by regulating his diet and getting plenty of sleep. He did, however, get very sick at one point, last spring. He spent some time in and out of the hospital, and couldn't eat solid food for about five weeks. Well, he couldn't hardly get out of bed during that time, and I was happy to take care of him -- picking up DVD rentals and prescriptions from the drug store. It was during those five weeks that he took stock in his life, and decided that Los Angeles, and the entertainment industry was not the direction he wanted his life to go. He left his job and enjoyed his last few months here, taking writing classes and getting involved in the community. A stint in physical therapy inspired him to want to take care of others, and now he may go back to school to study medicine.

So, we almost made it through a whole year. It was a good year -- the best one yet, in L.A. My search for a new roommate begins, and hopefully, the experience will bring with it even more good times.

And hey, in the meantime, I have the whole place to myself for a month, so if anyone wants to come visit, now's the time...

Study Break

Not my study break, that's what I titled the mix CD I made for my brother, who's gone back to school to get his Bachelor's degree, finally. Wanna see the track listings? Of course you do:

David Bowie/Space Oddity
Royksopp/Remind Me
Elvis Costello/Less Than Zero
Starflyer 59/The Fashion Focus
Rogue Wave/Kicking The Heart Out
Badly Drawn Boy/Something To Talk About
R.E.M./Electrolite
Elliott Smith/Oh Well, Okay
John Torres/Living Without You
The Beatles/In My Life
Simon & Garfunkel/Homeward Bound
Van Hunt/What Can I Say (For Millicent)
Joni Mitchell/Little Green
Ryan Adams/Thank You Louise
The Velvet Underground/Who Loves The Sun
Jack Johnson/Inaudible Melodies
Nick Drake/Place To Be
Beck/Little One
Josh Rouse/Direction

I made a CD for Laura, too. But, hobag hasn't given me her address, and I don't want to ruin the surprise by putting the songs up here (hint hint, LL...). That one I titled "Dirty Glitter."

good news

Interactions between coworkers today have made me ponder the nature of my job. I'm a production assistant at a television production company, which basically means I do a lot of busy work no one else wants to do. It's not a bad job, and it pays decently, but my question is -- should it? Should any P.A. job be something to look forward to? The entertainment industry is a hierarchy, and the only person lower than a P.A. is an intern (I did that for awhile, too). But, if a P.A. job is made too cushy, it makes the person in that position comfortable -- makes them not as apt to leave. On the other hand, if a production assistant job is degrading and humiliating, it's going to light a fire under said person's ass, and they'll leave as soon as possible. Now, I know there are P.A.s in this town who are in that position, and in my mind, it makes them better equipped to move up in this pyramid scheme they call Hollywood. It's an interesting question -- in my mind, anyway. Personally, I think P.A.ing should be the worst job known to man. Maybe that's why I'm still a production assistant...

And now the good news: Old Yun, over at Oh Sung Autos redeemed himself, and despite the language barrier, I got my car back yesterday. It drives like a dream, and the whole thing only cost me $147.36 (that's American dollars, for you international readers) -- and that's not bad. Next up on the repair board is the sunroof, which doesn't close all the way right now. I'm lucky it hardly rains in Los Angeles.

And these beets I'm eating for lunch are amazingly good. I never thought I'd say that.

When did "no soliciting" ever mean "come on in?"

I spoke with my college friend Annelies last night. She had called while I was out for a drive (I do recognize the irony that I spend a percentage of my day stuck in traffic, hating it, but then find driving with no destination to be enjoyable), and left a message. I wasn't in much of a mood for chatting, but she said something in her message that sold me on calling her back.

She said "I think you and I are in similar paradigms right now." Only Annelies could say something like that, and maybe it was her delivery, but it made me very badly want to call her.

I'm not going to tell you what we talked about, since she doesn't deem it appropriate for her blog, so it won't get posted here either. I'll just say that yes, we are in the middle of similar circumstances.

Some mid-morning IMing has left me lazy and dragging my feet at work. Thanks to some new blog friends, I've had a sudden influx of intellectual stimulation. This has put me in the mood to sit and conversate over coffee, not spend the day doing busy work. Alas...

You're reading the blog of one pround Nissan Sentra renter. That's right, Enterprise hooked me up with a nice little mid-sized sedan this morning. Although, the guy who picked me up in it, Abdul, was wearing some strong cologne, which stayed in the car after he left, and is now on ME.

It's nice to have some personal transportation again. I can actually buy groceries and go to Walgreens now.

What's new with you people?

Relying On Others

Being without an automobile in Los Angeles is an interesting situation. For the last two days, I have had to rely strictly on the willingness and graciousness of my friends to cart me back and forth across town. Luckily, I haven't had anything I actually needed to get done, besides eat, which I've been able to do sporadically.

Tonight, instead of calling someone, I decided to walk down to a local coffee shop that makes good sandwhiches. As I was walking the two blocks, a man approached me, asking if I knew where any assistance/community centers were. He explained that he was 4 weeks new to Los Angeles, originally from Georgia. His car had broken down in Culver City, and he had spent the better part of the day walking all over, getting a new fuse and then trying to get back to his car. He had neither cash nor a credit card on him, so getting a cab back to his car (which was a good three miles away) was not possible. He showed me his military ID card, and also his bloody leg, which he said he recently had surgery on. I knew this man needed help -- he was in pain, and starting to get frantic. I offered to help pay for his taxi, and together, we went to the coffee shop, where I gave him some money, and had the barista call him a cab. He wanted to get my address so he could mail back the money, but I refused, saying that it was okay -- sometimes you need to rely on the help of other people, even if you don't feel comfortable doing so. He also gave me his phone number, asking me to call him to make sure he got back home. I'm not going to call him, however, there's no need to, he'll be fine.

I feel as if he was legitimately in need. If he was simply an actor trying to con me out of money, or a crack head trying to score a fix, well then he deserved the money for such a good performance. I hope he's okay.

The post that couldn't wait

I'm as happy as a clam right now. These enchaladas verano from Baja Fresh are go-oo-od. Maybe because they're the first food I've had today since the Spam and eggs at 9:00 this morning. Or maybe it's because I got a call from one recently-turned-26-year-old guy named Justin. Yeah, that helps.

Oh yes. I didn't really want to be so overjoyed when he called, but after wondering if I was ever going to hear from him again, it was quite excellent. The event was comical in it's timing, as I was standing, the only white girl, in the middle of a Korean grocery store. At these times, I'm glad I'm not xenophobic. I don't normally pick up my phone in such public places, which could give some insight into how badly I wanted to talk to him. He thanked me for calling him on his birthday, and said that he and his two roommates had spent a low key evening together. I found out that this Julia girl is out of the picture (!!). In his words, "I don't know what I was thinking." Yeah buddy, you're not the only one. He also has Tuesday and Wednesday off, so maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll get to actually log a few hours with him.

So, whatever, my freak-out was unfounded. But shut up, I'm a neurotic female, and allowed at least two of those a year.

My food is done, I'm going to call Mike Kim to see if he's up for seeing "Hero." He's also playing taxi for me tomorrow, and making sure I get myself to church in the morning -- what a guy.

Frustrations of a Different Kind

As I write this, my car sits in an automotive shop in Inglewood. The new wheel that's needed can't be ordered until Monday. This leaves me carless for a couple of days. I'm renting a car from Enterprise Monday morning, and am relying on the kindness of friends until then.
I had fun while I was over at Nina's, though. We didn't do much throughout the week, though. The evenings were comprised mostly of bad Chinese food and even worse television. Thursday, I had sushi with Mike Kim, and then we met up with Nina to see "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow," which was 'eh.' Visually amazing, but the story was thin, and Gwyneth Paltrow was nearly unwatchable. Last night, I broke out the Bacardi, and got a little tipsy. We fell asleep on the sofa bed -- there's something really comforting about having some one else in the same bed as you, even a friend. This morning, we got up at the butt-crack of dawn and went with Alina to the flower market downtown to get some ideas for her wedding in January.

It's funny, the kind of stuff you spend time doing and thinking about as you get older. Five years ago, my main concerns were not friends' weddings and car repair. Sometimes I miss those days, but mostly, I'm happy to have moved on from them. With these new responsibilities come new freedoms, and well, in the words of Martha Stewart, that's a good thing.


Couple other things of note:
--Luke's leaving Thursday -- ! I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad about that.
--I "joined" a new blog, called Leadership, which you can read here. I haven't actually posted anything yet, since I just got the invite.
--My parents are in NYC right now, and keep calling me and making me jealous of all the things they're doing.

"Ferris, he never drives it! He just rubs it with a diaper!"

As I was trying to fall asleep last night, I came up with the perfect analogy for Bush and Kerry.

Put yourself in the 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' context.

America is the red Ferarri. Bush is the crazy valet who joy rides it around Chicago at 120 mph, while listening to the Star Wars theme. I am a neurotic Cameron Frye, who, while reluctant to let anyone drive the car, would rather hand it over to a quite, responsible valet (that would be Kerry), who won't go tearing down the street with it. Mostly, I would prefer the car to be in the garage, getting rubbed with a diaper.



Speaking of cars, my gas gauge froze this morning -- that's not good.

My letter...

to CBS Evening News:

Re: Dan Rather.

Dear CBS,

Although I think it is ridiculous that Dan Rather stood by false documents regarding President Bush's National Guard service, I do not believe he should be fired. After all, the American people did not cry out for President Bush to be impeached when it was discovered that he lead our country into war with Iraq on the basis of faulty intelligence. I see a double standard here, don't you? Please keep Dan Rather employed, that is all I ask.

Thank you for your time.




Three posts in one day...who's busy?

You May Be Cute, But You're No Patrick Swayze

Nina and I watched parts of "Dirty Dancing, Havana Nights" last night. Her television Tivoed it, so we just fast forwarded to all the scenes with Diego Luna in them. That movie blows, with or without Diego. I hope he regrets his decision to be a part of that project, that's all I have to say.
Diego, what happened to the "Y Tu Mama Tambien" days, when you were with your pal, the similarly cute Gael Garcia Bernal? Maybe you should make another movie with him. Or at least stick with filmmakers who have some sort of vision, like the brilliant Alfonso Cuaron, when he's not busy making Harry Potter movies for David Heyman. Just stay away from the mid-budget Hollywood schlock. I know you're currently starring with that paragon of independent film acting, John C. Reilly in that "Criminal" movie, but even he can't seem to pull off that project. Listen, maybe you should take a break for awhile. Study the classics, go see the world -- just stop making bad movies. Soon, you're going to end up right back where you started, in bad Mexican soap operas. I still have high hopes for you, don't dissapoint me.

100, pt. 2

Egged on by Saucy Gillespie, and the fact that I'm bored, here's another fun-hundred facts about me...(actually 99, since there were 101 in the last go-round)


102. My favorite colors are pink and orange.
103. I have a brown thumb when it comes to gardening.
104. I have good credit.
105. I had six different roommates in college.
106. Their names were Meghan, Carissa, Carrie, Quaniqua, Shalini and Kasuen.
107. I don't like wearing shoes.
108. I am rarely sick.
109. I briefly thought about becoming a theater major in school.
110. I have no real marketable job skills.
111. I like expensive bath and beauty products.
112. And also shopping for clothes.
113. I'm really sensitive, but tend to cover that up, or try to anyway.
114. I like getting up early on the weekends.
115. I prefer magazines to books.
116. I like makeup but rarely wear it.
117. I go to church, it's called Mosaic.
118. It's not your "typical" church. I never liked going to those.
119. I forgive people easily, some would say too easily.
120. I wish I were more intellectual, sometimes.
121. I have long hair, but it used to be really short.
122. I love mangoes and bananas.
123. I'd rather be too hot than too cold.
124. I have never ridden a horse.
125. I have never milked a cow.
126. I used to watch Oprah religiously.
127. If I were forced to eat one food for the rest of enternity, it would be sushi.
128. I feel like people in Los Angeles get a bad rap.
129. I love getting emails.
130. I don't have faith in our elected officials.
131. I'm shy around people I don't know.
132. I've driven from Albuquerque to Dallas (or vice versa) 12 times.
133. I miss seeing the seasons change.
134. Asthetically, I prefer men who have dark features -- like Latin or Mediterranian guys.
135. None of the guys I've ever actually liked fit that description, though.
136. I would have liked to live during the 1960s.
137. I think I probably would have been a hippy.
138. I try to support local businesses.
139. I like eccentric people.
140. I keep my fingernails short.
141. I have full-blown conversations with myself in my car.
142. I like conspiracy theories.
143. I am not easily offended.
144. I'd rather be a rockstar than a famous actor.
145. My favorite architect is Frank Lloyd Wright.
146. My standard karaoke song is Abba's "Dancing Queen."
147. I want to learn to surf.
148. I have small hands, but big feet.
149. I have more guy friends than girl friends.
150. I suck at math.
151. I like a guy who can work with his hands.
152. I don't drink enough water.
153. I'd rather be busy than have nothing to do.
154. I think music sounds better through headphones.
155. I make a mean sangria.
156. I like small animals, like hamster and lizards.
157. I like meeting new people.
158. I have a daily planner, but never use it.
159. I can't draw or cut a straight line.
160. I like inappropriate jokes.
161. I never know what to write in birthday cards.
162. I have oily skin.
163. I recycle.
164. I wish people cared more about the environment.
165. I have a pretty good backhand.
166. I just had the most incredible wave of nausea ever.
167. I like it when people rub my back.
168. I hate to be the one to initiate contact with friends all the time.
169. I would love to meet Bono.
170. If I have kids, I would like to name them Basil (pronounced the British way) and Eudora (after the writer, not the email program).
171. I have an awesome sense of direction.
172. I vote.
173. I suck at charades.
174. I don't mind embarrassing myself.
175. I've been accused of mumbling.
176. I like people who have good laughs.
177. I over use the words 'awesome,' 'dude,' 'asshole,' and 'yeah.'
178. I like to chew gum.
179. I like being silly.
180. I like aquariums.
181. I try not to take things too seriously.
182. I've been to the top of the World Trade Center -- I was 8 at the time.
183. I don't like songs that get stuck in my head.
184. I tend to talk through my problems.
185. I own an Apple iBook.
186. It was my first "grown up" purchase.
187. I have a record player.
188. My least favorite movie is "The Exorcist."
189. My second least favorite movie is "Requiem For A Dream."
190. I've been to over 20 states.
191. I just realized what the "military industrial complex" really meant the other day.
192. I like coming to conclusions at my own pace.
193. I'm a loyal friend, and expect the same.
194. I love my blog.
195. I like burping contests.
196. I can growl like Eartha Kitt.
197. I also do a mean "sexy chicken."
198. I have really soft arm hair.
199. I spend way too much time on the internet.
200. I started this at 9:54 am, finished at 1:21 pm.

I know it's futile to think John Kerry's actually going to win this election, but Dubya can stop lying about him. Sheesh.

"Oh-oh yeah, who do you think you are?"

It's Indian Summer here in Los Angeles. Warm breezes blow in from the desert and clear the smog and grim away, and the city glistens and shimmers for a few short days. This is an ideal time to do things like go to the Hollywood Bowl, which I did last night, with nine other girls. The LA Philharmonic was performing the 'Lord of the Rings' symphony, and we, being the movie nerds we are, decided to get some cheap nosebleeds and enjoy the show.

Well, the evening turned out less idyllic than planned, but such is the norm. Traffic, crowds, slow symphonic pieces -- shows where you can get up and dance around are way more fun at the Bowl. People were shushing us, which is so ridiculous -- it's not a concert hall, jeez. Anyway, drinking wine and snuggling was fun.

On the way home, discussion turned to Biblical musicals, since Val Kilmer is currently playing Moses in a song-and-dance version of the '10 Commandments.' I got the theme to 'Jesus Christ, Superstar' stuck in my head, and we were trying to figure out the second line to that song -- does anyone know it?

"Jesus Christ, Superstar....." then what? Nina thought it was "Who in the world to you think you are?"

Mmmm...yeah, I don't think that's it.


Song of the morning -- "Gett Off," by Prince
Favorite line -- "It's hard to say what's right, when all I want to do is wrong." How true.

...and the air is clear, the sun is bright, and you can actually see the mountains for once

And she breathed in and out, and everything was okay.

After several days of funk-dom, I can say I'm now starting to feel better. When I got home from work yesterday, I spent much of the evening in bed, crying, and I think I got most of it out of my system -- the worst is over. I truly admire those who have to live with mental illness and depression every day -- it's not something that's fun nor a romantic notion, it just sucks, even for a few days. This wasn't all about Justin, either, lest you think I'm totally whack-o. That event was simply a catalyst for some deeper pyschosis, and I've been spending the last few days digging through it all. I don't feel much like elaborating right now, but maybe in a while.

But thanks, everyone, for the support and concern -- I don't mean to cause anyone undue concern (don't worry, I'm not slitting my wrists). I'm usually pretty level-headed and light-hearted, and not a big fan of these emotional outbursts. But, I realize that they're a necessary part of life -- things change, circumstances shift, nothing bad (or good, sometimes) lasts forever.

can't shake...

the feeling of being flatter than a pancake.




this really hurts.

Cause and Effect

Nina got jumped at knife-point on Friday.

Because of this, she doesn't want to be alone in the apartment.

So, I'm going to be her roommate for a week while her husband is away.

Alright, Already

Even I can't mope all weekend.

Enough with the Justin trauma -- I know, rationally, that he was never someone who I saw something other than friendship happening with. Not that relationships can't evolve, but even after it got weird, I always knew it was temporary, and that whatever feelings of loneliness I had helped me to think that fooling around with Justin was anything more than just that. It's fun to have a crush, but more importantly, it's crucial to realize people's true feelings, and be honest with the other. Justin's the first guy who I feel I can be honest with and say 'yeah, I do like you,' or 'I'm jealous of the fact that you're seeing someone else.' But, it's honesty plus restraint that makes our friendship so good, and that's an incredibly hard, mature thing to do. If Justin and I had been honest and unrestrained, we would have slept together by now (well, probably). But, we recognize that those physical trysts are fleeting, and what would be left of our friendship in the aftermath? Not much. Human relationships ARE incredibly complicated, and you can't censor how your feel about someone, but you can choose to demonstrate your feelings in responsible and constructive ways.

I don't agree with people who say that you should guard yourself and be careful with your emotions. Sure, you don't get hurt, but you don't feel much else, either. I don't want to be neutral -- I want to feel things passionately, the good and the bad, or the 'sweet and sour' as Cameron Crowe likes to say. I'm not afraid of being hurt or feeling sad or let down -- those are things that help strengthen the heart, even if it builds scar tissue.

So, I almost hate to come to such a clear-headed conclusion so soon, but crying alone in your bedroom is no fun, none at all. I still thinik this Julia girl's a twit, and I hope Justin come to his senses, and realizes that seeing a girl he doesn't really like isn't going to help him feel better about other things that are bothering him, or cure boredom, for that matter.

Crying in the Cappucino

After lots of processing, some sloppy tears, and a really good pair of ears (thanks, Laura) I realized that my biggest fear in all this is that I lose Justin as a friend -- because how often do guys who have girlfriends hang out one-on-one with their other female friends? Not lose completely, I mean, he's just not going to be around, and a big part of the joy of being friends with him is to actually physically be with him, like in the same space.

I don't think I could handle losing that....I feel an intense sense of missing him -- isn't it funny that someone can be ten miles away, but feel like a million?

Oh, here we go again.

trough monkeys

okay, i'm way too whatever to even concern myself with that capitalization button. shift, i think you call it.


oh yeah...it was that kind of night, and not in the 'let's go out and have a bunch of fun and get crazy' way. no, it was more like 'i can't believe what's going on, i don't know how to handle it, give me drink' sort of way.

unconscienably, i simultaneously got my heart broken and made myself look like a boob tonight. this was even before alcohol was introduced. allow me to elaborate.

first the boob part. i was planning on going to see my old co-worker/friend karl perform at an improv performance at the second city training ground. i asked him to get me on the list with a plus-one, figuring that i could get corey or justin to go. well, i called pretty much everyone i knew to see if they wanted to go, and they were either busy or not interested. as the day wore on, i got increasingly frustrated with my friends and all of their reluctance to commit to going out. so, in the afternoon, i called mike kim, and invited him, but he was like 'well, i need to see what i'm doing tonight, so let me get back to you.' it's at this point that i lit into him a little bit, saying 'well, i don't think i'm going to go, then, because i can't find anyone to go, and i don't really want to go by myself. i might just go out with my friend jordan and do whatever.' i was really just unloading on him, the frustrations of the day piling up and spilling out on this poor unsuspecting guy. we left it that he would call when he knew what he was doing. i knew that he meant he wasn't going to call, but i especially felt bad for trying to guilt trip into hanging out with me.

okay, in the meanwhile.....luke, my roommate, wanted to go with me to karl's show, so to spend some time between getting off work and heading to the theater, i decided to go to the border's store where justin works to say 'hi,' since i figured the reason he hadn't called back all day was because he was at work. and i was right. it took a while to find him, but he was working. we haven't seen each other in about six weeks. that's really pathetic. but it's okay. so, we're walking around the store, and he's telling me what's been going on with him, and eventually, he says, 'and i'm seeing this girl, ' and i stop dead. i'm like 'really? what's that about.' i know i probably visibly wilted, because, in case you missed it, i like justin quite a bit, and our relationship is (was) somewhat amorphis, having made out on one occasion, and jut generally engaging in activity not always associated with 'just friends.' and i'm talking emotionally here, not physically, so much. anyway, we chat for a while, though throughout the entire time, my heart was breaking on the inside, just a little bit. after a while, the conversation goes back to this girl, julia, who he says he met while at work, when he was helping her. he says he's not really happy about it, that she's not that into him, shes doesn't give him the affection and attention that he wants. she's apparently also more financially secure and has a nicer apartment and car than he does, and that bothers him. so, he doesn't even hardly like her, and i asked why he was going out with her in the first place, and his reply was that he 'was bored.' umm, okay. hey, buddy, look right in front on you...the entire time, this is what i was thinking -- 'i know you think about me when you're making out with her.' which, granted, may or may not be true, but dammit, i was jealous and sad. i think the funk that i was teetering on the edge is about to smack me in the face. this is just the thing to put in over the edge. i know i have crushes all the time, but the guys i truly, truly like are few and far between. i know i'm the one that he wants, but he goes out with these other girls, instead, which bothers me.

he said he'd call soon, since it's his birthday this monday. when i left the store, i really felt like crying, and left a weepy message on my brother's answering machine. anyone i wanted to talk to it wasn't picking up the phone. that's when i really made myself look like a boob, because i called mike back and left a message apologizing for being a jerk on the phone earlier, and that i hated it when people tried to get me to feel obligated to hang out with them, and i didn't mean to do it to him.....oh jeez.

so, i'm still headed to the improv theater, and i stop at corey's whole foods and say hello, and we decide that after the show, i should come back when he gets off work, and we'll hang out. okay. while i was in the store, mike had called me back and asked if i was okay. i called back, and he's like 'don't feel like you had anything to apologize for,' although i did apologize about making him the brunt of my emotional craziness. i don't know, i still felt awkward, like it was totally unneccesary to start bringing all that up, and wished i had never apologized in the first place.

whatever, the show was pretty funny, and it was really excellent to see karl perform, and a couple of other coworkers, jon and joe were there, as well. it was particularly good to see jon, as he and i never really talked much when we worked together, but we were joined at the hip tonight. after milling around outside, we went next door to the improv and had a beer, then luke and i snuck into the stand up show and saw greg fitzsimmons, who's pretty funny.

afterwards. i went back to whole foods and waited for corey to get off work. we took his car to the kibitz room at canter's deli and i bought him couple guinness and had two vodka tonics and a shot of jagermeister. yup, nothing like drowning your sorrows. afterwards, we went to pinks and waited in line and had a couple of hotdogs, while getting grossed out by this nasty couple making out behind us in line. 45-year-olds should never get that drunk in public, it's just not kosher.

so, now i'm in bed, a little numb. i haven't been tipsy like this in a while. i plan on spending saturday watching sad movies and crying....

i miss you guys, where is everyone?(besides T -- i appreciate your reliable comments, you rock)

You better enjoy that meal, it's the last one you're going to have for a long time.

So, beginning October 4th, Jordan, Jesse and I are going to do a 10 day master cleanse. It's basically a fast, and the only thing you consume is a mixture of maple syrup, lemon juice and cayenne pepper. I've been reading into fasts for awhile, and have been wanting to do one, so when I heard that Jordan was going to fast, I asked if we could do ours at the same time, since these things are always easier with moral support. My movitation for fasting is more spiritual than anything. The body must just get thrown in to such disary, and even though the first few days are the hardest, I can't imagine any part of it's easy or pleasant.

Today, by contrast, I'm not putting any regard for what I put in my mouth. I'm usually pretty careful about what I eat, but some days I simply say 'whatever.'


Oh, Topher got me Wilco tickets for their show in November -- yay!

Everyone, welcome Greg to the blogroll.


Also, it's quite fun to have a job that lets you take shots of Patron at a company party.


That is all, carry on.

Couple Things

I decided yesterday (while stuck in traffic) that I'm not going to move. First of all, it's foolish to move until I know what's going down with the j-o-b. Secondly, I like Venice. My friend Jordan's friend is giving me his couch, and Jordan herself is going to give me her curtains, so I'll be in the position to start sprucing the place up, finally.

We had a mid-sized fly infestation at our apartment last night. It turned into a blood bath once I got adept at smashing them with the sole of my Chuck Taylors. The casual observer might mistake the place for the site of a Manson-family murder, but "no," I tell them, "it was just the flies."

I thought this might come out as a more substantial post, but nevermind.

Inspiration hits...

...in the most unlikely places sometimes.

I hung out with the Korean boy-wonder tonight. We got coffee, cruised the Sunset Strip and headed to Amoeba Records (I picked up a used copy of No Doubt's Rock Steady).

Anyway, the on-an'-off crush is off again. Mike and I may not become significant others, but business partners? Maybe...

I've been looking for a pet project for some time. Mike isn't in the film business at all, but he suggested tonight that he wants to collaborate on a documentary about the 21st Century Korean-American experience. Now, I like the food, but I know very little else about Korean culture. That's where Mike comes in, since he has a very intimate knowledge of it. There, apparently are two main tensions: between the generation that grew up during or right after the Korean War, and their children -- that's one. The other is within the younger generation themselves, which on one hand, is very materialistic -- kids in K-Town roll up to clubs in Porches and Z4s, and on the other hand is very old-fashioned and religious.

So, I'm excited. It's a very exclusive culture -- you can't get into clubs in Korea Town without being Korean, there are shady business dealings that apparently go on all the time. Mike's the entre into that world, even though he's not too entrenched in the "scene" necessarily. He also has more access to capital than I do, and together, I think we would make a good duo.

Who knows...we're in the VERY early stages of planning. It's going to take a lot of research and planning and writing before hand. Because we don't want to just go in with cameras and shoot kids doing crazy things. You never end up getting the stuff you really need in the long run. Finding the human element is paramount -- it's always more compelling that way.

Do me a favor, though. Harp on me. Keep asking me how this is going. Both Mike and I are lazy and tend to have flights of passing fancy. I'm feeling that great, first flush of creative inspiration, and I think it would be awesome to actually see this through.

Yummy

What do you get when you mix romaine lettuce, feta cheese, mini cherry tomatoes, bartlett pear, walnuts and some balsamic vinagrette?

Possibly the tastiest salad ever.

Nothing like some food to brighten my mood. Oh, a call from a certain Korean boy helps, too.

Inaction In Action

I'm feeling overwhelmed.

See, there are about to be some big changes going on in my life, changes that I probably (definitely) need to be doing something about, but I'm so overwhelmed by them, that instead of proactively having a hand in them, I find myself shutting down.

Two things. My roommate, Luke, is moving back to Pennsylvania at the end of October. At around the same time, my current job will be ending. So, what I should be doing is looking for two things -- a new roommate/apartment and a new job. The two kind of go hand-in-hand, though. I don't know if I'll be able to afford my current apartment or not, depending on what kind of work I get, if any. And well, either way, I'm going to need a new roommate, and I want to live with someone I know, or at least a friend of a friend, and preferably a female this time.

Part of my problem is that I tend to think that I should have a bit more stability, after being here a little over two years, and frankly, I'm disgruntled. Granted, flexibility is one of my strengths, and truly, the nature of the entertainment industry is instability, so the whole job thing should really come as no surprise. I was fortunate, in that I had a steady job for almost a year, and why I left that job to take one that wasn't permanent, well, that's another story. But regardless...why can't I have a job that I'm not going to have to worry about having end? Why can't I have a roommate that's more than a roommate, but someone who's also a friend, a real compadre, a partner in crime? Maybe that sounds unreasonable, but I've seen others accomplish this feat, I know it's possible.

A couple of weeks ago, my outlook was decidedly sunnier. Now, I've become so stressed out about it, I don't even register the stress. It's like I think about it, and am so thoroughly freaked out, I just shove it out of my brain again. You know what that kind of inaction leads to? Homelessness.

Part of me knows that everything will be okay -- that these sorts of things tend to work out at the last moment, and that God provides in weird and wonderful ways. And I'm also sort of excited about what changes will come. But in the meantime, I'm shakin' in my booties.

Suse: "Jesse, I saw you walking by, you looked dejected."
Jesse: "Did you see me water the plant?"
Suse: "Water the plant? Did you pee on it?"
Jesse: "No, I dropped water on it."
Suse: "Oh, you dropped water on it."
Jesse: "My water broke."

Proofread, jerk!

Is that one word or two? Who care, it would help if I actually did it from time to time. I just read over my last post and found a rather obvious typo, which is now fixed. What is that? Am I too tired when I type most of these things to catch them? It's really quite embarrassing, coming from a supposed "college educated" young lass such as myself. I apologize, gentle reader, for leaving you on your own to try and decifer what obscure points I'm trying to get across with my sub-par typing skills.

Moving on...

I'm just amazed at what a cool communication tool this blog is. Not only does it let me stay in touch with old and new friends from all stages of life (hello, AZ), but I've met some cool people from all over the country who I would never have known existed otherwise -- you guys are awesome. I love the fact that you all read and comment on my random musings -- they really make it all worth it.

Okay, enough lovey-dovey-ness for one day.

Beating the System.

New music week continues! I spent this evening at Norm's (think IHOP, but a half-step down) with my friend (the illustrious) DJ Mike C. That's right, my Philipino friend is a hip hop dj, and we got together and swaped music.

I snagged the following discs:

N.E.R.D. -- In Search Of
NAS -- Illmatic
Jay-Z -- MTV Unplugged & The Blueprint
Lauryn Hill -- MTV Unplugged
Jurassic 5 -- Power In Numbers
Outkast -- Stankonia
The Pharcyde -- Bizarre Ride 2
Tribe Called Quest -- The Low End Theory

He also gave me a copy of his new beats album he did exclusively on vinyl. One for me, one for Justin, who works for a local hip hop mag.

Nice. I feel like I won the lottery.

Why Suse?

I emailed an old college friend today to tell her about this piece of web I like to call home.

As I was writing the email, I thought I should explain the origins of "Saucy Drunk Suse," but instead of writing it twice, I decided to simply turn it into a post.

So where, Sandra, did the name of your blog come from?

I credit the nickname to my coworker Jesse Bryner. He is a fellow production assistant and sits directly across from me. One day, we were talking about nicknames, and he asked if anyone ever called me Sandy. I said only my dentist back home, which prompted the question "well, does anyone ever call you Susy?"
"No, my name's not Susan."
"How 'bout Suse?"

At this point, I was laughing too hard to say much. Which is where the "saucy drunk" part comes in. See, Jesse thought it seemed I was drunk because of all my laughing. In truth, I'm just easily amused, and Jesse's a funny guy.

Truth be known, I rarely get drunk. Especially not at work...well, except for that one time...(whistles, walks away).

Duck and Cover

Uh-oh. How, in any way, does this sound like a good idea?

I'm not so sure if anyone not directly associated with the military needs to be walking around with assault rifles and tons of ammo.

100 the Hard Way

(editor's note: there are actually 101 things here, I inadvertantly used the number 8 twice, go figure)


Hello.

I just heard the greatest song EVER on the radio. A "smash-up" of the Beastie Boys "Pass the Mic" and the Beatles "Drive My Car." Holy shiz-nits, it was g-oo-d.

And now, for your reading pleasure (or whatever term you want to ascribe this)...

100 on me:

1. I’m first generation Estonian-American.
2. I was born two months premature.
3. Because of this, I had to spend my first 6 six weeks of life in an incubator.
4. I was born in New Jersey.
5. But raised in Oregon.
6. Then went to college in Texas.
7. And have now been calling Los Angeles home for a little over two years.
8. I was afraid of everything when I was a child.
8. I now am only afraid of the deep sea.
9. And more afraid of dying in a plane crash.
10. Those are the only things I truly fear.
11. I’m left handed.
12. I like to drive fast, this sometimes gets me into trouble.
13. I’ve caused two accidents and gotten three traffic tickets -- all in L.A.
14. I’ve kissed nine people.
15. I am bad at keeping in touch with those not immediately around me.
16. I can play the clarinet.
17. I can also play guitar and bass guitar, but not well.
18. I have never been in love.
19. I have never had sex, either (call me a late bloomer).
20. This does not mean I’m innocent by any means.
21. I have trouble falling asleep, but once asleep I sleep heavily.
22. I have constant crushes. Some would call me “boy crazy.”
23. I have a slightly addictive personality.
24. I don’t like air conditioning.
25. I’m easily irritated, but don’t stay mad very long.
26. I procrastinate like the dickens.
27. I say words like ‘dickens’ in everyday conversation.
28. I like interracial relationships (of any kind).
29. I can dance for hours non-stop without the help of drugs.
30. Speaking of drugs, I have tried two in my life.
31. I like throwing up, but not in the eating disorder kind of way.
32. I’ve never passed out from drinking, but not from lack of trying.
33. I’ve only had one real hangover.
34. I’ve broken my right foot twice.
35. I didn’t go to my senior prom.
36. I have one older brother.
37. We have an interesting relationship.
38. My parents are still both alive and married.
39. I love my parents and get along with them very well.
40. I can’t wait to get older.
41. I usually have no idea what I’m doing with my life.
42. Music is my favorite thing ever.
43. I love laughing so hard I don’t make noise, I just shake.
44. I like cold, rainy days.
45. I sometimes rehearse phone messages before leaving them.
46. I believe in God.
47. But I am not one of those crazy zealot-types.
48. I would like to complete the Iron Man one day.
49. I don’t like people touching my feet.
50. I have a hard time remembering my dreams.
51. I majored in Cinema at school.
52. My favorite professor was Tom Bywaters.
53. He inspired me to come out to Los Angeles after graduation.
54. I think I am a hard person to live with.
55. I have been to Canada and Mexico.
56. But never overseas.
57. I like singing, especially in the car.
58. I’m a registered Green Party voter.
59. My favorite city is San Francisco.
60. I hate house cleaning.
61. I have no food allergies.
62. My favorite month is November.
63. I miss seeing frost on the ground in winter.
64. I like sad movies and music.
65. I don’t remember the last time I cried.
66. I used to cry all the time.
67. Two of my best friends have boyfriend who have been, or who now are in jail
68. My first concert was the Red Hot Chili Peppers at the Rose Garden with my brother in 1995.
69. I played a mime in a highschool production of “Stop the World, IWant to Get Off.”
70. My other favorite city is Portland, OR.
71. I once wrote Cameron Crowe a letter about how much his movies inspire me.
72. I still haven’t sent it.
73. I am only competitive during board games and cards.
74. I have never lost a game of Monopoly.
75. I still have my original Atari video game system, and it still works.
76. I definitely want to get married.
77. But I’m not sure if I want kids.
78. I’m a pretty decent cook.
79. But rarely have time to do it.
80. I’m a raging indecisive.
81. I took two years of German in high school.
82. I can’t remember much of it, unfortunately.
83. I love museums.
84. The most famous person I’ve met is Harrison Ford.
85. I just spent the last two years losing over 100 pounds.
86. I’m not satisfied with my body yet
87. My first car was a 1983 Subaru.
88. I now drive a 1994 Saturn, named “Felicity.”
89. It has over 170,000 miles on it.
90. It is hard to think of 100 of these things.
91. I’m VERY ticklish.
92. I’m easily amused.
93. I would rather be blind than deaf, if forced to make that decision.
94. I wear corrective lenses.
95. Both my eyes have astigmatism.
96. I wore braces for two years in highschool.
97. My back hurts right now.
98. I rely on my ATM card way too much.
99. I don’t think I’ll be able to live in a small town again.
100. I have a hard time finishing things I start, besides this -- heh.

"It's the humility"

That's what Joseph said tonight when we were talking about why it was still so freakin' hot at 11pm.

My petty cash reimbusment check came earlier today and I happily went to the bank to cash it. I then headed to Amoeba Records and bought the following cds:

Bjork -- Medulla (I'm listening to it as I type this post. HIghly strange and highly enjoyable. Think what you will of her, but she's always original)
Beastie Boys -- To the Five Bouroughs
Ryan Adams -- Love Is Hell (the LP, not the two separate EPs that came out earlier this year)
Kanye West -- College Dropout
Scissor Sisters -- Self Titled (perfect for a hot summer L.A. day)
and I forgot to get Jill Scott's new album, which I'll be going back for in the next couple of days.

Speaking of cds -- Saucy, what discs do you want? I suppose I should tell you what I have....uhh, well email me (the link's in my profile) and we can get that ball rolling. No one should be without music, in my opinion.

Miscellany, or the stuff that wouldn't fit anywhere else.

These are just a series of random thoughts and findings, none of which I feel like giving posts of their own to, but also want to get out of my head:

-- Jesse and I have been reading the Fifty Nine Deceits of Fahrenheit 9/11 today at work. It all just goes to show you can't believe everything you see or read ANYwhere.

-- I'm considering hermetically sealing myself off this weekend, to just hang out with me. I'm not calling anyone or making any sort of plans, I'm just going to rent some movies and play the rest by ear. If someone wants to hang, that's fine, but I'm not going to seek it out.

-- I've realized over the past couple of month that I'm really quite innocent. I only just recently learned the "other" meanings of the following terms:
*The Dirty Sanchez
*"meat curtain"
*"two in the pink, one in the stink"
*O.P.P. (yeah, I should have known that one, shut up)
If you need assistance in learning any of the above phrases, please stay on the line, an operator will be with you shortly.

-- Luke and I watched the season premiere of The Apprentice last night. I really enjoyed the first season, despite not being much of a television watcher. I don't know, though, these kinds of shows can't be replicated very well in the second seasons, there's already too much expectation.

-- It's Friday, halleluia

"You just put your lips together and blow."

That's what Lauren Bacall said to Humphrey Bogart sometime in the 1950s. She was talking about whistling, and how easy it is.

Sort of like riding a bike. Sort of.

I mentioned a couple of days ago that I don't know how to ride a bike. This might sound weird coming from someone who is 24-years-old. And indeed, it's always been a little embarrassing for me to admit to such a thing. Because who doesn't know how to ride a bike? I've seen three-year old kids and little old ladies both peddling down the street with relative ease.

I never learned growing up, simply because my family at the time was too poor to buy me and my brother bikes. I had a tricycle, which had been graciously given to us by some family friends, and I rode it in circles around our driveway for hours. Once I was older, and we could afford such "luxuries," I wasn't interested in learning. There was never much of a necessity to learn, because cars and feet got me where I needed to go just fine, and there was never much emphasis on fitness growing up, either.

So that brings us to now. I mentioned to my friend Mike this weekend that I didn't know how to ride, and since the rest of the gang were interested in renting bikes, he offered to teach me. I have, in the past few years, been curious about it, and decided that 'hey, why the hell not?' I felt like an ass in the helmet, and at times during my lession I really wanted to just say 'fuck it,' but I stuck with it. I assumed I would be able to get on and start peddling right away -- this microwave society we live in has taken all patience out of me. I soon learned that this gratification would be anything but instant. I never was able to get both feet on the peddles and pump a full revolution, but I did manage to coast with my feet in front of me. I also feel confident that the next time I try, I'll be able to do it. Mike was a good teacher, too. Armed with the patience that I lacked, he calmly suggested techniques that would make learning easier. At one point, he held on to the front of the bike and ran backwards to steady the bike while I tried peddling. That might have been successful, if I hadn't been laughing so hard...

I live in an ideal biking neighborhood. Only seven blocks from the ocean, so riding a bike out to the Venice boardwalk seems ideal. It will also break up the monotany of jogging for exercise. If little boys and little old ladies can do it, so can I.

It's Good Karma Thursdays All-Around

I think T's good Thursdays are rubbing off on me.

Dennis, one of the accounting guys at my old job called me today telling me that I overpayed my petty cash before I left, and a $100 check was coming in the mail.

I also talked to an Asian guy with a British accent on the phone today. I nearly drooled all over the phone.


Amoeba Records, here I come!

Head and Sky Cloudy

It looks like rain today. It's been hot and humid the last few days, and the sky, it wants to rain. I want it to rain. It reminds me of those days in Texas, when huge thunderstorms would roll through in the afternoon and wash all the pollution away. My brain matches the sky today -- overcast. I've been feeling so groggy lately. Maybe I should start going to bed earlier, like before 1:00am, or maybe the commute is finally taking it's toll, or eye strain from looking at a computer screen all day. Coffee's not even helping -- heaven bless.

That's it. I'm feeling really uninspired today. Somebody, make me laugh.

Is this thing on?

Uhh...hello? Why is evil Blogger not letting me post?

1. It was my friend Alina's birthday yesterday. We had a big Italian dinner and went to Fossilman's for ice cream to celebrate.
2. I dropped Nina off at the airport last night. Upon leaving, she gave me the keys to her place and said I was welcome to hang out there until she and her husband get back into town.
3. Mike Kim called me yesterday evening. He wanted to get coffee before he went to NorCal for a couple of days to hang out at his parents home. It was sweet of him to call.
4. Laura, where are you? If you're reading this, drop me a line. I'm not nagging you, there are just two emails from me in your inbox waiting for replies
5. I ordered my contact lenses today.
6. I finally decided that in addition to Bjork and the Beastie Boys, I'm either going to get the Garden State soundtrack or the Scissor Sisters
7. My old journal is still up. Feel free to cull my archives all you want -- I've got nothing to hide (T...).
8. Go here and say hello to this guy. Do it!

In the interest of making up for lost time, here's another post for the day

The entire time I was up in Mammoth, I couldn't stop thinking about Justin. In case you don't know our history, I'll refer you to this page.
I think part of it was because most of the friends I went with were couples, either married or engaged (or almost engaged). Hanging out with them doesn't usually bother me, 'cause I'm used to it, and none of them are big on PDA or hanging all over each other. But I so much wanted him to be there -- to share the outdoors, to be able to snuggle up to his burly-self and just listen to him breathe. It's not even a sexual thing, either. I don't want to have sex with him, I just want to lay on him and sleep, to rub against his scratchy chin and let his big arms lay heavy across my back. That's all I want. I don't think that's too much to ask.
Or maybe it is. I think like most single 24-year-old women, I sometimes go 'ahh! I'm going to be alone forever!' But then I calm down and I remember that this kind of stuff takes time, and I should enjoy being single, and yadda yadda. Of course, this is easier said than done, but a snuggle-buddy here and there along the way makes for a good salve.

9000' wimps

This weekend, some friends and I went on a hiking excursion in the Sierra Nevadas, around the Mammoth Mountain area. We joined another group of friends from the Bay Area and rented a pair of condos. It was fun, for the most part, but hiking at 9000' elevation is hard! Saturday, we hiked above Lake Mary, which would have been a nature walk in Los Angeles, but was wheeze-inducing instead. Sunday was spent at Devil's Postpile and Rainbow Falls. The scenary was spectacular, and some of the hills had been burned, giving it an other-worldly feel. While we were there, I was in charge of my friend's Basset Hound, named Molly (or Maully, as I like to say). She's a stumpy little dog, but she loved running up and down the trails, sniffing horse poop. By the end of the day, she had worn me out. All total, we hiked about 8 miles in two days. Monday morning, my friend Mike C. wanted to teach me how to ride a bike (no, I don't know how to ride a bike -- that's another story for another day). I was game to learn, and I did pretty well, considering we only had an hour for the rental. Probably wasn't the best thing to do less than a week after hurting my tailbone, because now my ass is sore -- but whatever, I had fun. It was good to get out of the city for awhile. The company was good and the condo was quiet. It made me homesick for Oregon, though, being out in nature for so long. Hopefully I'll be able to get some pictures up soon.

I missed you guys, it's good to be back -- kinda.

Bea Arthur!

I'm back!

But I'm too tired to rehash the whole weekend at the moment, so I'll save that for the morning.
Oh, and my ass is sore -- again.

Bye!

I'm off to get in touch with my Oregon hippy and commune with nature for a few days. See you kids on the flip side. (Waves, blows kisses...)

Grumps

I'm in one of those "I'm going to say whatever is on my mind" kind of moods today. I'm not usually so sassy or snappy, but I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Luckily, I've managed to avoid insulting and/or aggravating anyone yet, so now's my chance to cool it. As Jesse said, "you catch more bees with honey, Suse."
Luke (my roommate) and I watched GWB at the RNC last night and then went and rented "Mosquito Coast," a mid-'80s Peter Weir film. I can't believe I've never seen this movie before -- I'd recommend it. Harrison Ford gives a refreshingly un-Harrison Ford-like performance, and the message of the movie was really quite timely, given the world we live in today.
Speaking of Bush, my favorite laughably quotable line last night was "the war on terror has required careful diplomacy." Yep, I'd sure call invading two countries with nary a drop of international support 'careful diplomacy,' I'm right there with you, George.

"Actually, I've made out with two latin guys"

Is what I uttered at some point last night. I also met Mike's younger brother, who is an exact copy of Mike, only reduced by about 20%.

I'm finding it very hard to concentrate right now. It doesn't help that I'm here at work without any work-related tasks waiting for me. I've basically spent the day laughing at Jesse, annoying him with my gum-snapping, and reading my Rolling Stone magazine.

I have decided that when I get back from Mammoth, I'm going to buy some new music. I want to get Bjork's Medulla album, and the Beastie Boys new one. If anyone has any other suggestions, bring it on, I want to get one more. Oh, and I want a new book to read as well, so if you have any recs, leave them here, too.

Whenever anyone talks about a guy's hair having cow licks, I always picture some guy sitting under a cow, getting his head covered in cow spit.

I know these last few posts have been random, but then, so has been my brain. I'll get back to the substantial post soon.

P.S.-- my butt feels good today, I didn't even need a rub. I guess those Arnica pellets worked pretty well, although it does hurt to poop.

A little catnip goes a long way...

What do you get when you mix the Latin Grammy Awards, leftover pancakes and "the ultimate sensation?"

An evening with Mike Kim!

But no, unlike T., I did not get a kiss goodnight.

Minor Trauma is an Oxymoron

It also sounds like the name of a punk band.

But, fucking OW! I hurt myself today -- bad.

I went with Jordan to the mechanic to pick up her car. While we were walking across the parking lot, I slipped and fell straight down on my talibone. I was really stunned for a minute and had to just sit and breathe for a bit. I was scared (only for a second) that I had broken my tailbone or something, but I doubt it's broken, it's just really, really sore now. Tailbones are like pinky toes or ribs, though -- even if you do hurt them, you can't do anything about it. They just give you a doughnut to sit on and send you on your way. Because you can't bandage your butt, how would you poop?
Both Jordan and Topher were like 'oh, go to Whole Foods and get Arnica, it's good for bruises and trauma and that kind of stuff.' So I went and picked some up in the "Homeopathic Remedies" section of the store. They're just these little white pellets that you're not supposed to touch, or else you ruin their "energy" (woo-hoo, new age alert). They may as well be breathmints for all I know, but I'm seeing if they help at all. I also popped some aspirin, for old-times sake, and to maybe help the soreness.

Anyone wanna come give me a butt massage?

I like my sugar with coffee and cream

And right now, my heart's jittery from the caffeine.

Hey, it's September 1st, kids -- rent's due. I have such a strong inclination to curl up like a cat and sleep in a warm puddle of sunlight at this very moment. Unfortunately, I have a few more days of work this week, but then I'm headed up to Mammoth Mountain with some good L.A. friends to go hiking and relaxing for a few days. I cannot wait to get out of the concrete jungle for awhile.
Friends and family are being neglected, too. I miss them, but have been slightly overwhelmed with the adjustments that come with a new job and a new routine. For now, I'm comforted by the fact that I know they'll be there when I resurface.