10 Weeks to a Better America, or what happens when you get lazy

Click here to see the first of MoveOn.Org's voting ads, done by a whole cadre of famous people. Watch it!

Without further ado, the story I promised about lying at work:

Last Friday, one of my coworker (let's call him C) asked if I had done a specific task. I hadn't, but instead of wanting to admit to not doing it, I said I had. C left early on Friday, and after he left, I did the task he had asked me about, figuring I would tell him Monday (yesterday) that I had "double checked" the work and had found all these other changes. The problem arose when I got to work yesterday, to find an angry C, who accused me of not doing what he had asked me to do at all -- which was true, admittedly. So, I apologized, and felt bad, and just in case all of that wasn't enough, C decides to email me AND our boss, G about some "concerns" that had been "raised about my work."
So, later, G asked me what the email was all about. I told her the whole story, saying that I had lied about doing it when I hadn't, but then had done it later, and just hadn't gotten the chance to tell C about it before he discovered it for himself. G was okay with it, because, interestingly, C's not on her good side at the moment, as he screwed up BIG TIME last week.
So, at this point, I feel better about it, but there's still tension between C and I. Some of my other coworkers said that this wasn't the first time he had pulled something like this, and he really has no right to do so, as he's not even technically my boss. Later, he cornered me in the kitchen, and I apologized again, and got really angry when C said to make sure not to do anything that would "get HIM into trouble."
I can understand getting called out, and I'll take responsiblity for my mistakes, it just pisses me off when others try and pass themselves off as more responsible and above reproach by trying to get me into trouble. I doubt it impressed G at all to read that email, so I believe C's attempts are all in vain. In the end, we're "all on the same page," and everything's okay. And it's taught me (again) not to lie, I hate lying. So, at least something good came out of the whole thing.

Holy-freakin'-crap! The election's only 10 weeks away?

A Question for the Ages

(An aside -- I just dropped my computer -- ACK!)

Today's been something of a toxic day. The honeymoon at work is over, as I managed to get caught in a white lie, and have had to ride the wave of consequences, very few of which really had to do with my lying (which, by the way, I HATE doing, and browbeat myself for doing), and more to do with someone else's gigantic ego. Someone who's been getting into trouble and has decided that to save his ass, he's going to try and drag me down with him. Anyway, that's another story for another post -- soon.

Anyway, to cheer myself up, I decided to think about one of my favorite topics -- boys! So here's my question: can straight men and women ever have close relationships STRICTLY on a platonic level? I know I've probably addressed this question before, but I want y'alls opinion. I don't mean those you hang out with in a group setting, or acquaintances, I'm talking about those you spend copious amounts of time with one-on-one, those that you have deep discussions with, that you really invest in relationally. Oh, and I limit it to "straight" people, only because I'm straight, and don't know how it works for non-heteros.

I guess in my own life I've experienced both. But I can think of more instances where there's been definite attraction, at least on my part. I mean, isn't that what spurns one on, to even pursue a friendship? I'm not talking about ulterior motives, either, I mean more like you're attracted to this person, so of course you're more apt to want to spend more time with them, etc.

I have a large number of male friends. I jokingly refer to them as my "man harem," and sometimes I wonder why some of them want to be friends with me. Not in a low self-esteem kind of way, either -- shit, I think I'm an awesome friend, but more like, 'well, why exactly is (insert name of guy here) spending so much time with me?'
--When does a phone conversation go on too long? An hour, hour-and-a-half?
--How generous is too generous? $80 for your dinner, $30 bar tab?
--What's too close? "Grinding" in a club, holding hands?
And if these things aren't signifiers of attraction, what are they? Why would a man be that generous with a woman if he wasn't attracted to her? To simply be generous, maybe, but if they have a lot of female "friends," wouldn't that get kind of expensive? I have one friend, Mike C (who has a girl) who says "there are no mixed signals."

Yeah, I have specific guys in mind while I type this. Three, to be exact. One of them I know there's a mutual attraction going on, and so my answer to this question based on that relationship would be "no." Another one I'm certain is just platonic, so the anwer there would by "yes." It's this other guy that's confusing things (as if they weren't already confused). He says he likes hanging out with me because I make him laugh and that I give him good advice. I guess that's enough of friends-only validation, but I'm just not convinced. Granted, maybe this is some sort of devious wish fulfillment, and I'm just hoping all of you will say that, even without knowing this guy, "yes, Sandra, he is madly in love with you." Nah, probably not, I just want some differing perspectives, experiences, advice, etc.

Oh, and I just figured out how to photo-blog (muwahaha!). Now, if only I could find a scanner so I could actually show you all of my photography. Drat...

Have you seen these, yet?

HERE is the trailer for "The Life Aquatic," Wes Anderson's new movie, which I cannot wait to see.

Also, THIS will make you laugh your ass off.


Enjoy, kids.

Like Yellow Jackets to Chicken

Where did the weekend go?

Today my friend Michelle had a birthday party at her apartment, which she shares with Clarice, Christina and Callista. A whole bunch of people I hadn't seen in awhile were there, as was Mike Kim, who ended up drinking about five beers before 4pm. I managed to slice my toe open while we were out on their patio area, cooking Korean BBQ beef. I think there might be something actually in my toe still, but I'm such a big baby that I just put a bandaid on it and am praying that whatever is in there will just work itself out. I can still walk fine, so I'm not going to worry until it turns black. Anyway, I found someone who might work out as a roommate -- Sarah, this really sweet girl who I went to Ensenada with over Memorial Day. She sells lettuce at some of the local farmers markets around town. Mike and I also got to know a couple named Rod and....Shandra? I think was her name -- I'm so bad with names. Anyway, we all exchanged numbers and will probably hang out at some point.
Afterwards, Mike took me back to Nina's place, so she and I could meet up with her friend Yvonne for the World Hip Hop concert up at the Hollywood Bowl. We stopped to get some chicken on the way, which later turned out to be something of a mistake when the yellow jackets came out in full force. Why didn't I remember those camping trips from my youth? At least the concert was good. It included:
Control Machete, from Monterrey, Mexico
Kid Koala, from Canada (my personal favorite of the evening)
Thomas Motumbo, the "Lion of Zimbabwe"
Wyclef Jean, who did some of the old Fugees stuff
Although everyone knows that the best part of the Hollywood Bowl is the people watching and hanging out with friends. These two Korean couples were sitting in front of us, one of which had a young child. The father kept on taking pictures of the little guy, and I comment that the poor kid was probably going blind. At around the same time, this guy behind us started whistling at this un-Godly pitch and volume, and Yvonne leans over and says that the kid could be "like Helen Keller, deaf and blind." Alright, maybe you had to be there, but it was hysterical at the time.

And now it's midnight, and tomorrow's Monday again.

Argh! (Charlie Brown style)

I just had an "always the bridesmaid, never the bride" kind of moment just now.

My favorite radio station, KCRW was giving away tickets to the Ozomatli/Kinky show this Friday. All you had to do was call in with your member number (of which I am one), and the first five callers received a free pair of tickets.
Sounds easy enough, no? So I called when they said to -- I even programed the station number into my phone (what a nerd), and a man picked up and asked if I was a member, and after my afirmative response, he said "okay, then you're a winner, please stay on the line" and put me on hold. Yay! I though. Two bands I really like, and all for free. That, and I've never really won anything before. However, my elatedness was short lived, as my PHONE DIED while I was on hold!! I guess I can't expect much with a carrier like AT&T, coupled with the fact that I live in a cave, but why NOW? Now I have to go to bed all dissapointed.

(sigh)

On the brighter side, a lot of good things happened today:
1. new contact lenses
2. much needed oil change
3. cleaned the entire apartment with my new mop (I'm a nerd, like I said)
4. met a cool guy at this local coffee shop
5. had hawiian food for the first time
6. saw my friend Tino, who's been in Greece for the past four months

Uhh, that's it.

Feed Me, Seymour!

That's right, last night I saw "Little Shop of Horrors" with Nina and her sister Esther at the Ahmanson theater in downtown L.A. It was the first play I've seen since I've been in California (a little over two years for those of you keeping track). Which is funny, since I minored in theater in school, and used to go all the time in Dallas. I guess it's just a matter of priority or time, maybe.

While I was waiting for Nina and Esther, Nina's husband Dan called, saying that their housemate Abbi had just gotten back from Mexico, where she'd been sitting around on the beach for two months. He said that laying on her bed was a bag of what looked like marijuana, but wasn't sure (so I love that he called me, but I digress), so he described it, and I said that as far as I could tell over the phone, it was probably weed. He called again about two minutes later saying it was catnip. Oh yeah, hadn't thought of that.

Anyway, now I must run to get ready for my eye appointment. I'm getting me some new contact lenses -- woo-hoo!

Dancing for Mexico

I just got back from the Temple Bar where I saw Elephonic and the Nortec Collective. My friend and coworker Jordan is friends with the members of Elephonic, which is why I went in the first place. I would describe them as Zero 7-esque. I really liked them, and apparently, KCRW, the local public radio station has played some of their stuff. Nortec Collective was basically two stocky Mexican guys fidling with laptops on stage. At first, Jordan was like 'this is the kind of stuff you should just listen to at home,' but after awhile, we got into it, and everyone was dancing around like fools. There's something about electronic music that just grabs me by the...something...and makes me shake my ass into the ground. I haven't been dancing like that in months, and the best part is that I didn't even go out tonight expecting to do that.

Here's to the beginning of a fun and busy weekend!

Do you think caterpillars ever get dissapointed when they come out as moths?

I'm so happy today -- it's cloudy -- in southern Cali-fucking-fornia!

Like a real, live Kenny G, he was.

There's a guy in Venice who plays tenor saxophone while riding his skateboard. I can honestly say that's the first time I've seen anything like that. It made my day. Well, no, talking to my best friend Laura on the phone for three hours made my day, but Mr. Huge Lung Capacity was a close second.

Showing Some Skin

My stomach is getting bigger. I don't mean I'm pregnant, I just mean I'm eating more and not working out. Huh, that's what happens, right?

Two years ago at this time, I was pushing a size 26. Now I'm comfortably a size 12. Not bad, but I've noticed an interesting phenomenon: A lot of the size I am now is due to left-over skin, since it was, at one point, so stretched out, and it's not going away. It's hard for me to not feel resentful about it, because I've feel like I've just put all this time and effort into losing all this weight, but I'm still not happy with how my body is, because of all the skin, so I just think 'what's the point?' Now, I realize that I'm also much healthier than I was before, not to mention less than half the size I was. I'm now also smaller than the average American woman (size 14) and I weigh what I weighed in 4th grade!

Okay, so there's been progress. But, why can't this skin go away?! No amount of working out is going to make it shrink or diminish. It just hangs there, spiting me, saying 'forget it, you're never going to have a nice body.' I know there are more important things in life, but this is important, too. To me, at least.

Somebody tell me I'm overreacting, that I really do have it good...

File Me Away

Listening to Badly Drawn Boy -- shit I'm tired, why don't I go to sleep? I took a sleeping pill about fifteen minutes ago and feel as if I'm being slowly drawn into sleep. It's really quite an interesting sensation.

I love Badly Drawn Boy. This music reminds me of my intern days, when Kelly and I burned copies of it for our boss's friends' Christmas gifts. Ha-ha, what a cheap-o. She made over $100,000 a year and couldn't just go out and buy actual copies of the 'About A Boy' soundtrack? I pray I'm never like that. Speaking of interning, I haven't talked to Andres in for-ev-er. Or Rach for that matter. Are you floating around here?

I also have depressing news about my stomach, which I will post tomorrow, when I can actually type. And also, an embarassing story of tampon usage, which I may or may not write.

I (heart) L.A.

Nights like tonight make me realize how people end up falling in love with this city and never leaving. Los Angeles was a beautiful, shimmering concrete landscape tonight. A strong wind during the day blew away the smog, leaving only sharp glass buildings against crisp blue sky. Afternoon melted into pink-ish orange clouds and a bright half moon, illuminating the urban jungle below. Corey and I navigated through Koreatown, downtown, Silver Lake, dim neon signs in Korean and Spanish. Orange and sick-green street lights became animated, pulsing to electronic, hip-hop and latin beats as we cruised through narrow corridors. We ended up in Los Feliz, sharing coffee and chocolate cake and jazz at a French cafe called Figaro. A pack of verboten cigarettes were purchased, two smoked, and a walk around the neighborhood inspired a overwhelming trip to Amoeba Records on Sunset Boulevard, where hipster stood shoulder to shoulder with middle-aged jazz nerd. Dropping Corey off, driving through yuppie havens, which gave way to gritty ethnic enclaves of gothic cathedrals and old hotels, night air mixing with smoke and laughter. I never thought I'd say this, but this city is stealing my heart...

SV + TJ Forever

I love Trader Joe's. If you're lucky enough to live anywhere near one, you'll know exactly what I mean. GOOD, inexpensive food, and it's nice to know that I'm not supporting any mega-food corporations like ConAgra, et al.

In other news, what about these Olympics? Am I the only one around here who thinks it's a little strange that America's winning almost everything? I've only watched three nights of coverage, so maybe I haven't seen the events that other countries excell in, or maybe NBC only televises the events that the U.S. wins. The little creeping conspiracy theorist in me says "they're fixed!" but I don't truly believe that. But I do think, 'how stupid, it's just another reason for the rest of the world to hate us -- we have to be first in everything!'

P.S.

"They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." --G.W.B.

I know I'm about a week-and-a-half late on this, but WHAT?!

(throws up hands, screams to the heavens.)

I give up, I'm going to bed.

Ouch! That smarts.

I'm watching the Olympics, and I just saw a commercial for the new season of "The Apprentice." I don't watch much tv, but I can't wait.

I helped a couple that I'm friends with from Mosaic move yesterday. They went from Koreatown to Reseda, in the valley. Imagine moving from a real gothic, urban area to super-suburbia. Between six people, we finished in about three hours -- not bad. My friend Larry was there as well, and he gave me a copy of "Ruthless Trust," by Brennan Manning. He must be somewhat pyschic, because I had just finished reading "Ragamuffin Gospel," also by Manning, for the second time. Anyway, I woke up this morning sore, sore, sore. I went for a long walk this evening to try and shake out the soreness. It's helped a little.

My friend Erika and I went to Pink's, the world-famous hotdog stand (it's an L.A. institution, really) last night. We waited for about an hour for our dogs, since the line was around the block, practically. I had gone there once before with Corey, and we had gotten chili dogs, which I guess they're really famous for, but they were better sans chili. Pink's has been around for 64 years, at the exact same location, the corner of La Brea and Melrose. That's really interesting to me, because that area has grown into what's become the "heart" of Hollywood, a really vibrant part of town. But it could have been Compton or Studio City or Whittier. Did Pink's contribute to what the area's become, or has what the area become helped Pink's survive? Food for thought...ha ha! Unintended pun, that one. Sorry.

Never did make it to Sunset Junction.

urban wildlife

Did you know that the LAPD does not reply to noise complaints of barking dogs? One of my neighbors has a dog that has a particularly annoying whine, and it was going on and off the entire night. I don't know if the neighbors are just not home or if they don't care that the dog does that. Either way, it was literally a rude awakening to be back in Venice. Every yuppie must have his dog around here, why I cannot tell you. Maybe the Smiths' place was particularly quiet or better insulated, because I think sometimes that I live in the loudest neighborhood ever. Anyway, the thought of being kept awake by stupid shit again is making me consider moving even more, since this is ridiculous. Bands, dogs, crows, drunken parties, thumping car stereo systems -- we are a loud society.

(sigh) I wish the world were a library....

okay fine

I'm so easy. Jennifer convinced me (without trying too hard, I might add) to hop onto Blogger, so here I am.

Let's see, what's been going on lately? I hung out with Mike Kim, one of my many 'man-harem' members last night. It took about three phone calls and two hours to try and figure out what to do, and we just ended up hanging at his place watching "Philedelphia" and going to Del Taco at 1:30 in the morning. I've decided I definitely don't have a crush on him anymore (an aside -- I guess I am still a little boy crazy. Okay, a lot). He's so into those cutesy little party girls that it makes me want to vomit. Besides, I can see him being something of a bad influence, so I'm keeping it strictly on the friendship tip. I like hanging out with him, though. We have awesome conversations, the kind that you had at three o'clock in the morning in college. I love those.

maiden post

It had to happen, kids. LiveJournal was getting too pedestrian. Welcome to my Blogspot. I'm not deleting my old journal, and you can look at it here: My LiveJournal